OK... So I am officially mad at cancer. This dumb disease made me have to change my plans for my summer and leave my grandbabies. I am so mad that I only got to see them such a short while. I am mad that I had to leave my sister after only a few visits. I AM MAD!!!
During the last 6 or so weeks, I have just thought, "it is what it is... no biggy". That was all fine and dandy when I could "pretend" that it didn't change anything, but it did and now I am mad.
I am happy that I will be going back home to Henderson for surgery and treatment and be around my kids, but I am mad that they even have to deal with this again. They lost their stepmother to breast cancer 3 years ago. They are so worried about me even though, I believe hers was much worse and there is nothing to worry about with me.... just a blip in the journey of life.
I am mad that in this day and age, we even have to deal with this disease.
Sorry for the rant, but for my sanity I just had to put this out there. I know that there are sooooo many people worse off than me. People like my sister, who has been dealing with some form of cancer for 20+ years now.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
MRI
I know that it has been a little while since I posted.... not much has been going on. Just waiting for my MRI and then we leave to head back to Henderson, NV for the surgery, treatment, etc.
So I had my MRI today. Quite an interesting procedure. You lay down on your stomach with your breast hanging down in a couple of holes on the table, with your arms resting above your head. Your head goes into this round padded area as if you were getting a message.... Boy how I wish that was happening instead of this....
It was a MRI with and without contrast so I had to have an IV and they put it in my arm where they normally would draw blood from. The MRI lasted about 45 mins because they had to redo some of it, but the worst part was that when you are laying down, they have this part of the table that digs into your ribs right under your breast area. They try and put a couple of pads there but that doesn't help. After a while, I started having issues being able to breath all the way because of the constriction from the ribs.
When it was finally all done, I still had some trouble breathing. It does get better but how there is no bruising there, I have no idea. They say that the report should be done in 24-48 hours... so more waiting.
The nurse says that this was the Cadillac of machines, but that a man must have designed it. I think she is right.
PS... sorry, I just realized that I didn't actually post this so posting it now.
So I had my MRI today. Quite an interesting procedure. You lay down on your stomach with your breast hanging down in a couple of holes on the table, with your arms resting above your head. Your head goes into this round padded area as if you were getting a message.... Boy how I wish that was happening instead of this....
It was a MRI with and without contrast so I had to have an IV and they put it in my arm where they normally would draw blood from. The MRI lasted about 45 mins because they had to redo some of it, but the worst part was that when you are laying down, they have this part of the table that digs into your ribs right under your breast area. They try and put a couple of pads there but that doesn't help. After a while, I started having issues being able to breath all the way because of the constriction from the ribs.
When it was finally all done, I still had some trouble breathing. It does get better but how there is no bruising there, I have no idea. They say that the report should be done in 24-48 hours... so more waiting.
The nurse says that this was the Cadillac of machines, but that a man must have designed it. I think she is right.
PS... sorry, I just realized that I didn't actually post this so posting it now.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Scary Research
The internet can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I have been spending the last 4 days research what I can about this type of cancer, mastectomies, reconstruction surgery types and what the insurance pays for. It is exhausting. I have joined 2 awesome Facebook groups with wonderful women going through the same thing.
I hope not to offend anyone who might be reading this, but my original thought about a mastectomy was that it was not a big deal to not have these puppies... I am 50 years old and am not having any more kids... I don't need them, but as I start to do the research and look at pictures, it made me extremely sad. First, when I heard about drains, I was thinking something small like a small tube, but when I saw the pictures, it is almost like IV bags hanging from long tubing. I have even read about people who wear sweatshirts inside out so that the pockets can hold the drains. Then I see the scars and the excess skin under the arms and my head immediately starts thinking why would anyone want to reach over and want to touch me. That made me start researching the reconstruction surgeries.
Apparently you can have implants or something called a flap. That is when they use tissue and fat from another place on your body and make breast out of it. Sounds great but can that tissue get cancer and then I am back to starting this all over again? Switching over to researching implants.... well it looks like those would have to be changed out about every 10 years.
Too many decisions and currently, I won't be back to Las Vegas until July 1st so I won't be meeting with doctors until then.... That may change depending on how this month goes and when the oncologist in Vegas gets the medical records, but for now.... back to the research.
The Start of My Journey
In December 2014, I had my yearly mammogram. The left breast came back clean, but the right breast needed had something and they wanted an ultrasound to make sure it was ok.
Fast forward to mid April.... I found a hard area on my left side of my breast. Not really a lump but like a tough spot. After further inspection, I found a lump near my nipple. As chance would have it, i had a doctor appointment scheduled for the next week so I didn't worry too much about it. The doctor scheduled me to have another mammogram and a ultrasound.
Fast forward to mid April.... I found a hard area on my left side of my breast. Not really a lump but like a tough spot. After further inspection, I found a lump near my nipple. As chance would have it, i had a doctor appointment scheduled for the next week so I didn't worry too much about it. The doctor scheduled me to have another mammogram and a ultrasound.
When the doctor got the results of those scans, she called and said the radiologist didn't like what he saw and referred me to a surgeon, but I didn't ask and she never said anything more about what the radiologist found.
At the surgeon's appointment, he said that the BiRADs for the scans were a 5 out of 6 and that is was 95% cancerous. He requested a biopsy to see what he is dealing with. Now you should know that I absolutely hate needles, so this sounded like torture to me.
I had the biopsy on Friday, May 22nd. They performed an ultrasound guided biopsy using a vacuum needle. The radiologist starts by numbing the area. He was very good and I didn't even feel the prick of the needle he used for numbing. He chose to go in between the two lumps so that he didn't have to run the risk of infection in two places. There was a lot of sensation of tugging or pulling but no pain. When they actually grab the samples, it sounded like a drill. Unfortunately, one of the areas was near a vein and that caused quite a large bruise, but all in all it was not a bad experience. Now the wait begins.... The radiologist said it should be back by end of next week... A whole week... UGH!!!!
Waiting day by day for that phone call is no fun. I finally got it on Friday.... Invasive Lobular Carcinoma with positive estrogen/progesterone receptors. This means that my estrogen is feeding the cancer. The biopsy did come back as HER2 negative which means that it is not a fast growing cancer so that is good. The surgeon stated that they could do a lumpectomy or two if they can't get both in one shot, I could decide to do a single mastectomy or I could decide to do a double mastectomy just to have a clearer mind especially with the right breast issue in December. He also stated that he wanted to get an MRI.
Now starts the research of all of my options. I am a woman of faith and truly believe it will all be alright. I know that I will have the right doctors and the right care and together with my husband, we will make the right decisions.
I had the biopsy on Friday, May 22nd. They performed an ultrasound guided biopsy using a vacuum needle. The radiologist starts by numbing the area. He was very good and I didn't even feel the prick of the needle he used for numbing. He chose to go in between the two lumps so that he didn't have to run the risk of infection in two places. There was a lot of sensation of tugging or pulling but no pain. When they actually grab the samples, it sounded like a drill. Unfortunately, one of the areas was near a vein and that caused quite a large bruise, but all in all it was not a bad experience. Now the wait begins.... The radiologist said it should be back by end of next week... A whole week... UGH!!!!
Waiting day by day for that phone call is no fun. I finally got it on Friday.... Invasive Lobular Carcinoma with positive estrogen/progesterone receptors. This means that my estrogen is feeding the cancer. The biopsy did come back as HER2 negative which means that it is not a fast growing cancer so that is good. The surgeon stated that they could do a lumpectomy or two if they can't get both in one shot, I could decide to do a single mastectomy or I could decide to do a double mastectomy just to have a clearer mind especially with the right breast issue in December. He also stated that he wanted to get an MRI.
Now starts the research of all of my options. I am a woman of faith and truly believe it will all be alright. I know that I will have the right doctors and the right care and together with my husband, we will make the right decisions.
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